SURPRISE!
I had a big surprise the other day. That is surprising in and of itself.
This surprise came from my wife Amy. I thought that was a little bit strange. It has been my experience that wives stop surprising you after the first decade. (Except when they’ve said, "I want a divorce" and that one catches me off guard every time.)
Believe me when I tell you I was caught off guard when Amy stated: "I'm going to start a list of the people I hate.” This is a bit shocking. Amy is soft-spoken, well mannered, and highly educated. I was quite surprised that she hated anybody. Let alone a whole list of them.
First thing I wanted to know was, am I on your list? It was an emphatic no. The lady still loves me. So who would be on the list?
“It starts with The Property Brothers,” she said. Now, everybody knows that twins are a bit weird but I don't see any reason to hate those guys. Her reason? “Don’t need one."
The next on the list? A guy named Duff who has a show about cakes onFood Network. He is a grown man who wears a baseball hat backwards, yet I forgive him unlike my wife. I really wanted to know what Duff did to make her so mad. “Cake balls” was the answer. Years ago Amy bought a cake ball kit with his face on it and attempted to make them at a party at her mother’s house. (Side note: Speaking of weird, Amy's mother is my age and my father-in-law is four years younger than me. He's tall too but I'll forgive him.) The cake balls tasted delicious, but unfortunately did not take the shape of lollipops like they were supposed to. They looked like pink amoebas with sprinkles on them. She threw them out. I thought this was a huge mistake. I pulled them out of the trash and ate them right in front of my mother-in-law. If anybody should hate that guy Duff, it's me followed right by my mother-in-law who feels that eating out of the trashcan is somehow wrong. I’ve changed my mind. Damn you, Duff!
Rounding out the list, author Dan Brown and Thomas Kincaid (aka “The Painter of Light).”
Can’t wait to find out who she will add next.